Fairytale Rap Cypher - Freshy Kanal ft. Freeced, EpicLLOYD, LittleFlecks, Jay Chay, HalaCG, Shwabadi, Keyblade, Eric the Audible, The Stupendium, Dan Bull

Once upon a time

There lived a boy who'd never age

He spent his time a-writing

Fire hooks upon a page

He chilled with those who chilled

And weak-ass pussies got the boot

He lined each cat against the wall

For all the king's mad men to shoot

Through each hood he went a-riding

Spitting rhymes and nary capping

Notoriously big and bad

'Twas not your granny's rapping

For he'd been to quell the giants

Who went stalking through the night

His tales were loosey-goosey

But his bars were fucking tight!

I got a ticket to vacation, I'm the taxi cab

I can offer you a paradise this planet can't

I'm crossing a couple stars on my travel plan

Grab my hand, you could say I'm moonwalking to Neverland

So, pipe down or you're catching the smoke

If you wanna settle beef, go to Cannibal Cove

Bitch, I run this motherfucker from the land to the coast

Sea kings only living where my shadow is thrown

I'm an honest guy, but I lie to the crooks

I don't book a flight, I just fly out the book

And I don't give a shit what your parents have cooked

I got bigger fish to fry, the way Pan's leaving Hooks

Y'all got all your friendships wrecked with your 9 to 5 shit

I got friends ship-wrecking when I fight with pirates

I'm not built for a driver's license

I built up my own fucking private island!

It's Bangarang, Captain Hook

Black mustache and a dapper look

I'm the feather in the cap of the seven seas

And you wouldn't have a hook if you didn't have me

I'm the Brooklyn Dodgers of open water

The Roger Waters of Jolly Rogers

Fly as Tinker Bell when I'm dropping sail

Making other pirates' flows sound like Speak and Spell

And I'm Bangarang, Captain Hook

Top chap in my whole pack of crooks

The chapter book king backed by Mr. Smee

And you wouldn't have a hook if you didn't have me

Peter Pan went and fed my severed hand

To Tik Tok the croc down in Neverland

And I'm foiled again - I'm getting Lost Boys, peace!

But you wouldn't have a hook if you didn't have me!

Fe-Fi-Fo-Fuck, I smell the flow

Of a thief you all know and whose green only goes up

Putting seeds in a foe's mum 'cuz that means

I'm a grower - have her leaving with rope burn (Ouch!)

Poster-boy of most certainly being misjudged

Had a cow but I sold her

For some worthless beans - I was down 'til a burglary

And a murder had turned me from poor to a rich cunt

I sling rhymes that have a Goliath beat

Since I swiped the kinder surprise egg clean

From that giant's miserable sky palace

You might like to call it a hi-jack-ing

Time is ticking - on this mic, I'm riffing

Like a harp, even with my arms tied, I'm spitting

Goodbye, good riddance - took five of these beans

And I got high, but it's not I who's tripping

Honk, honk - hear the goose come, stepping into the booth

Give 'em goosebumps, leave 'em in the trash chute

Like Veruca - don't mess

With the feathered veteran with the bread or you're gonna get

Chewed up by the Golden Goose, bruh

Cash in the coop, ya - make appearances, everything

I lay down's 24 carat, it's all on my bill

See your net worth is less than this bird?

That's embarrassing - gander at the gander

I'm the fowl minded Midas, so mind your manners

That brand name, I'm hyping - don't hide the glamour

So far from Untitled, this game I slander

Bring in the flock and that honking's your doom

With every drop, I bring Stonks to the moon

A different league than some other ducking Scrooge

Original G, that's "mother fucking" Goose!!

Running through the woods in a bright red hood

Sensed no danger, not when he grabbed me

Little me understood, not the likelihood

Of this stranger eating up granny

Never trust a wolf making conversation

Canine, more like bull, with an off fixation

Not one to get full, hungry inclination

I walked in and thought, "Illness must be raging

'Cause what big arms, big ears, big eyes, big teeth"

House seemed calm, but what lied in sheets

Was the wolf, in the place of his last big feast

At the time, couldn't see who was underneath

So, I came just a little bit closer

Big mistake - no escape from the poser

Got an eyeful of his blinding molars

Little Riding Hood, just Red left over, uh

Just the red leftover from this master of disguise

I ain't paying for this meal like my card has been declined

He's the lone wolf, got no partner in this crime

Antisocial - hear no bark, but I'mma bite!

Apex predator, beast in your gran's sheets

I'm too greedy, I need seconds - I feast, will these peeps ever learn?

Peek at the teeth, fleek to the feet - got the claws pedicured

"What big fangs!" Just to kill you all the better, bruh

I'm the type of villain that's quite rare

The kind the parents read and give their little kids nightmares

A sneaky motherfucker, don't fight fair - wherever they least

Expect me, bitch, I'm right there! Turn your crib into my lair

Nah, I never hunt in packs

I'm the Alpha, coming with a cunning plan

When the teeth gleam at you, that's a muzzle flash

And I could cut you down to size like a lumberjack, bitch!!!

Hola! Here comes the Puss in Boots - you losin', fools

I make a track sound good, call me Fruity Loops

Yeah, I seduce with my looks and I look really cute

See I'm rolling with the fur but without the suit

Olé, soy de los mejores, y si tú no lo ves

Es que estás más ciego que ese trío de ratones

With the sword, good - with the words, flawless

So much I can make an ogre look smaller

Like damn, bro - spitting so sick like hairballs

Gato por fuera, Zorro por dentro

Tengo alma bandolera

Mi encanto de Banderas keep my red flags low

When you poor, gotta work, gotta hustle

That way I made my G be the king of the castle

Yeah, and the truth is, you know how the Puss is

Didn't form a family, still got lot of pussies

Poster on the wall, you know it's me

The yolked GOAT of old folk poetry

I suppose if the question is who's the best tale

Then you best tell them not to step on the egg shell

'Cause any rapper who puts their verse before mine's

About to see there's more to me than just a nursery rhyme

I mean, there's only so much pressure one man can handle

Before his brain gets, uh, let's say scrambled

Got the type of shit to light up your lyres quick

Old school every rhyme of mine's inscribed in Papyrus

And if you don't vibe with it, take a dive off the highest bricks

'Cause I'm giving no fucks, like the tip of a friar's dick

See, now, crime is the life I live ever since Puss abandoned me

Fostered the name and the fame with no family

So, call the king's horses and gather his men

Tell him Humpty is back and he's cracked once again

You know, it's very rude to sit down at someone's cypher uninvited

No matter! Here comes the Hatter!

Never been so silly a milliner and habitual picnicker

I'm like crumpets and cricket but just a smidgeon more British-er

Young Flibbertigibbet, we aren't given to visitors

So just sit in the middle as I am spilling my riddles

And sipping a little with a platter of some shrinking or embiggening nibbles

Oh! My sanity's a drink in a thimble!

You know you really do talk too much - move round!

You're crazy if you don't think I rhyme the best

'Cause I'm raving when I'm up at the writing desk

You say curiouser and curiouser, I'd say I'm mercurial

That just means his mind's a mess! (Very rude…)

So call me Mr. Tea! You can quit your jibber-jabberwocky

Miss, you're dreaming if you think that you could have a coffee

This table setting is a place to be

It's a very merry un-birthday for me!

Oh, hello! Don't worry, you're not in danger

I may be a stranger but you're even stranger

In case you forget, here's a basic refresher

One, I'm a cat - two, I came here from Cheshire

It's a great pleasure making your acquaintance

Queer conversation is the quaintest entertainment

Come to Wonderland and you'll understand

That it's enlightening under thunderclouds

Enter with trepidation, a step at a time

I don't require trepanation to open up your mind

Let's take a look inside, that could be fun

Strange, you've gone oddly quiet? Cat got your tongue?

My teeth aren't jacked, I'm just dentally built

Where's the line between ingenious and mentally ill?

When you- When you get defensive then you tend to reveal

Your intentions - that's why I never pretend to be real

Skin getting thinner until

I'm hidden, invisible apart from the glowing grin on my grill

Still deliver riddlin' as if it's medicine for fidgeting

You don't want to hear the conspiracies I'm complicit in

The mystery is viscous, the way it's thickening

Do you know who I am? Hint: it isn't Ronnie Pickering

Pickling your mind like I'm sticking it in brine

Rewind, see how many hidden messages you find