Crucial Life Lessons for Young Children (feat. Michael Nice) - Kyle Gordon ft. Michael Nice

If you have a tot, tike, or toddler in your life, you can't afford to not buy this album
It's the newest CD collection from children's music sensation Michael Nice
Featuring three hundred of his timeless tunes
It's called, "Crucial Life Lessons for Young Children"
And it features songs with a message such as

When you're hanging out with your friend
And you wanna play pretend
If you wanna be a man in space
You need a helmet on your face
But you don't need a real spacesuit
Any household item will do
So put a plastic bag on your head
Put a plastic bag on your head

And also

Your mom and dad were joking when they said you're allergic to nuts
You are not allergic to nuts
'Cause no one is allergic to nuts
So go ahead and eat some nuts

And don't forget about

If you're angry and you're scared, hit your friend

Here's another one

Don't read, yeah, yeah
Don't read, yeah, yeah

Finally, there's a product that's good for children that they'll really love for about half of what many toys cost
Make your favorite child happy for once and get yourself a big kiss in the bargain

Lightbulbs can go in the microwave
Lightbulbs can go in the microwave

This one's really fun

If there's doody in your pants, that's food

"Crucial Life Lessons for Young Children"
Three hundred songs that little kids need to hear

Pour your milk on your dad's computer
Pour your milk on your dad's computer
Just do it, kid, fuck it
I'm sure your dad will love it
When you pour your milk on his brand new computer