Illusion of choice - Quadeca

Come on, tell me, what's the matter?
You wanna know where it all went wrong
And, baby, that don't even matter
'Cause you never had a choice at all
Te-tell me, what's the matter?
Still hoping that your risk paid off
And it doesn't even matter
'Cause you never had a choice at all

It feels like every other season
I get an itch but, this time, it ain't leaving
You pay the price and you never break even
And never pay your debt 'til you get a good reason
Maybe I get it from my mother
I know it's running in the family
I hear their footsteps when I'm standing still
Thought I was different, but how can I be?
If I told you that I thought about it, uh
Would that really be so wrong?
And every year, I still think about it
It's like I never had a choice at all

Come on, tell me, what's the matter?
Wanna know where it all went wrong
And, baby, I don't have an answer
It's like you never had a choice at all
Uh, it's like you didn't have a choice

And I know she's always there for me
But even she can tell I'm slipping away
She asks me do I really love her?
Even though I say it every single—
"I love you, baby, but I'm not even a person
So your love's always going straight through me
And it's never been your fault, but the—
The sound keeps on going out of sync with the movie
Wish I could be alone and you could still have me
Wish I could be alone and you could still have me
Wish I could be gone and you could still have me
Wish I could be gone and you could still—"

If I said it out loud, would that—?
Tell me, would that really be so wrong? Uh
Tell me, would that even matter?
'Cause you never had a choice at all
Tell me, would that even matter?
'Cause you never had a choice at all (And when you wake up tomorrow)
Thought I would've made my choice by now (When you wake up tomorrow)
Thought I would've made a choice by now (When you wake up tomorrow)
Thought I would've made a choice by now (When you wake up tomorrow)

At the meet-and-greet feelin' like this
How could I save your life when I'm feelin' like this?
You say I saved your life, I don't even think it's true
How could I save your life when I—? Uh
Tell me, what's the matter?
I could pay the cost, cover up your tattoo
And I could pay you back 'cause that's why I'm still breathing
The money in the world still wouldn't break even

If I said it out loud, would that—?
Tell me, would that really be so wrong?
Tell me, would that even matter?
'Cause you didn't have a choice at all (And when you wake up tomorrow)
Thought I would've made a choice by now (When you wake up tomorrow)
I thought I would've made my choice by now (When you wake up tomorrow)
I thought you would've had a choice by now (When you wake up tomorrow)
I thought you would've made a choice by now

Yeah, and it's so hard sometimes, to know I thought of s—
But I've been back and forth between it 'bout a hundred times
And I would rather live my truth than try to undermine
I lost a lot of close friends and the other kind (And when you wake up tomorrow)
And I still see them in my dreams no matter what I try
I'll probably hear this in the morning, put that in a vault (When you wake up tomorrow)
But I would rather say it now than not say it at all
And I would rather live it now than not live it at all

Uh, uh
Four, three, three-three, two, one
One-one, one, one, one-one
(And when you wake up tomorrow)
(Three, three-three) One-one
Three-two (One, three)
(When you wake up tomorrow)
One, three, two-two (Four, three)
Three, two
(When you wake up tomorrow)
One-one, three, two
(When you wake up tomorrow)
One, one, one, one, one
Three, three-three, three, two
One, one
(When you wake up tomorrow)
One, four, three, four-four
Three, two
(When you wake up tomorrow)
Three, three-three, two
One, one
(Five) Three, three-three, two
One