Everybody Needs Me - Tom MacDonald

I think the world's gone brain-dead
Since when did everybody identify as they/them
Cut off all their penises and trade 'em for some fake breasts?
I ain't homophobic, I got gay friends
I just think it's weird that the world's so offended
They tell us fat is beautiful while they takin' Ozempic
They wanted to get rich and they started a pandemic
And they really wanna win, so they're riggin' the elections
Everybody's offended 'bout everything every second
And any time that I mention that men can never get pregnant
I get aggressively threatened by kids with seventeen genders
Who think a word is a weapon and wanna teach me a lesson
And it's crazy, P. Diddy diddlin' rappers and hittin' women on camera
Conviction ain't gonna happen, hid the evidence
Instead of puttin' him in the slammer 'cause he's too rich to be cancelled
We try to fill a prison cell with the president

Born in Canada, moved to the USA
Where you're probably a racist if you're not gay

All of my Blacks, all of my whites
If you on the left, if you on the right
If you got a weenie and/or vageenie
They/them, he/she, everybody needs me
All of my straights, all of my gays
All of my bi's who swing both ways
If you got a weenie, ta-tas, and peepees
They/them, he/she, everybody needs me

Gwan de doctor (Gwan de doctor)
Tell him, "Save me, man" (Tell him, "Save me, man")
Me de see one rapper (See one rapper)
He a chi chi man (He a chi chi man)
(Mo fire)

I think the world's gone mad
Do Black lives still matter, or is trans the new Black?
Every time I rap, I got 'em crappin' they pants
They havin' cardiac arrest like they all had the jab
It's weird, take a look at your history
You're yellin', "Free Palestine," look what happened when you freed Britney
Your children ain't gay, they've been watchin' too much Disney
Eminem fans prayin' Shady will diss me
Everybody's so triggered that I just keep gettin' bigger
They wanna Morgan Wallen me like Tom MacDonald said—
I just wanna know about which rich celebrity's kiss
Keeps the Epstein listies hid from existence
I don't wanna be nobody other than me
I wanna choke the woke until they struggle to breathe
Hollywood is a joke, and I'm exposin' the creeps
Like Ellen Page ain't a man if she squattin' to pee

Born in Canada, moved to the USA
Where you're probably a racist if you're not gay

All of my Blacks, all of my whites
If you on the left, if you on the right
If you got a weenie and/or vageenie
They/them, he/she, everybody needs me
All of my straights, all of my gays
All of my bi's who swing both ways
If you got a weenie, ta-tas, and peepees
They/them, he/she, everybody needs me

Don't call me a white boy, I identify as Black
My pronouns are the ones you didn't use, so now I'm mad (Mo fire)
My hunters go hunting while your Hunter's smoking crack
I can't say the R-word, so y'all are handicapped

All of my Blacks, all of my whites
If you on the left, if you on the right
If you got a weenie and/or vageenie
They/them, he/she, everybody needs me
All of my straights, all of my gays
All of my bi's who swing both ways
If you got a weenie, ta-tas, and peepees
They/them, he/she, everybody needs me

Gwan de doctor (Gwan de doctor)
Tell him, "Save me, man" (Tell him, "Save me, man")
Me de see one rapper (See one rapper)
He a chi chi man (He a chi chi man)
(Mo fire)